Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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