I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
pop tarts are not kleenex
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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