Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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