Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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