You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
two words: eviction party
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
