Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
