it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
