I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
