Apparently you make a good broom.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
