he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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