She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i drank out of a bidet.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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