Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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