As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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