She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
His nipple licking is glorious
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