I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
