Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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