someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
