So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Ladies don't puke and tell
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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