I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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