Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
