Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
