I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
