whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
