that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
His hands were made for my vagina.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
