I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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