I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
