saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
