when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
