So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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