why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize