Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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