Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I touched a dick in church today
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
