I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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