You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
