all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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