I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
