He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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