I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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