I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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