I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
