WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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