There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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