I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
