i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
