Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it was like eating out sand paper
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
