we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
