Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
