yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
