I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
