Dual....:-)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
